Being Challenged by the Evil One

   The phantom pain I suffered this past week is beyond comprehension. No amount of
pain medication  would relieve the pain I felt. This is a result of the internal burning that
consumed my whole body when reacting to an iv antirejection drug. According to the
doctors at Mayo in Rochester Minnesota and the Doctor who did my above the knee
amputations at Regions Burn Center in Minnesota,this was all uncharted territory.
Doctor's who practiced for more then 30 years say they never seen anything like this.
 
   If you have not read the first book Walk On I would encourage you to do so. I have
medical photos in the book. I debated about doing this, but without the pictures you
can't begin to understand the miracle. In the pictures I'm clinically dead.
 
   Once the family got there my husband refused to let them take me off life support.
He told the Doctor's they didn't know me, my faith or determination. I was brain dead.
All organs failed and I bleed out having a blood count of 3,when it should of been 12
to 14 pints. They did 16 blood transfusions and then stopped. Prayer vigils were held
around the clock and on the 30th day I began to come out of the coma. 
 
   This is when the journey began. I know Jesus would of taken me but I wanted to
glorify God by writing the book Walk On. My fingers and hands and left ear were
suppose to fall off; amazingly they healed. Once again no one can even imagine this
without  looking at the pictures. My body is scarred but not my face, hands, or arms.
God is good!!
 
   Now after that long explanation the phantom pain comes from the burnt and severed
nerve endings. My legs and feet feel like they are still there. My feet will feel like I'm
stepping on hot coals and at times I can feel them sawing the legs off. All I can do is
close my bedroom door and cry and scream for hours. My husband will come in when
he can't stand it anymore. I reassure him there is nothing he can do.

   This pain I offer up as a human sacrifice. Some people think I'm nuts when I talk like
this, but I need to justify this in my own mind. It's never lasted a week and I really don't
know if or when I will crack. Let's give glory to God, enjoy the moment, and live for
tomorrow.

Prayers For A Healing

   Sorry for the delay. I've been consumed with worry and anxiety. I
know there is nothing to fear but fear it's self. Even so I get lost in my
emotions. Will I ever get off dialysis? It seems like one road block
after another.
 
   Over the holidays my son wanted to give me a kidney and this led to
more tears.It goes much deeper then that. I'll address this more in my
next book.
 
    It brought to light another complication, I developed antigens from a
previous blood transfusion.This means that I will more then likely reject
a kidney transplant.The list of potential donors is decreased drastically.
 
    I was told I have to have a live donor and they don't have to be blood
related. My siblings have been ruled out as possible donors. This to will
be explained in the sequel.
 
    If I receive a donor they will have there own team of doctors. All
expenses would be paid by the recipient which in this case would be
myself. The donor would then have their kidney removed laproscopically
and is hospitalized for a day. Amazingly their other kidney enlarges and
they loose no kidney function.
 
   Being a nurse I was unaware of these facts. If there was more education
on organ donation I believe there would be more hope and lives saved!

Another Holiday Gone

   The holiday went by quickly this year and just when I really began
to enjoy the holidays it's over. I hope everyone had a nice holiday
this year!

   On December 31st we got together with my side of the family for
a Christmas celebration. The event was very enjoyable. There were
laughs from the kitchen, fireworks in the yard, and chatter in the
garage. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and I was glad I was
able to spend time with my family. I had long conversations with my
family and caught up since things change so quickly in every ones
lives. I also got to spend some time with new additions to the family!
 
   On Monday my dialysis continued like most Monday's and I haven't
been feeling very good since. During the treatment my head was
pounding and my ear hurt terribly. I think I might be coming down with
something. Today I also went to dialysis and am still feeling sick.
 
   Everyday I continue to pray. A certain family member is now at the
center of my prayers. I know if I keep God in my heart that everything
will turn out okay.
 
   I will blog again shortly. Come back soon!