Happy Holidays!

   This year like all years I thank God for my children and ask
Him for many more years with them.

   Andrew came home Monday from University. His Christmas
break started and he will be home for a month. Even though he
has come home, I haven't seen much of him. He has been really
busy. Last summer, he and others went to schools in the state of
Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula and taught religion. During
his break, he went to Chicago to visit the young men and women
he taught with.

   My daughter Katie has also enjoyed the holiday season. After
dating for six years, Katie and her husband James spent their
first married Christmas together.

    On December 31st we are getting together with my side of
the family for a Christmas celebration. There are about 50 family
members attending, and I look forward to catching up with the
ones I haven't seen for awhile.

   I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas this year, and has a
blessed New Year! Enjoy the rest of the holidays and remember
to keep Christ in Christmas!

A Very Busy Holiday

   This week was challenging both emotional and physically. I was struggling to
move on with all the medical problems I have had. The thoughts about my medical
problems would come and go during the day.
 
   The holidays are normally a busy time in my life. None of our Christmas shopping
was done, and Christmas is just around the corner.

Monday: I was loopy and can't remember what I did that day.

Tuesday: Tuesday was the same, and its hard to remember what I did then too.

Wednesday: I went to Marshfield, Wisconsin to see my urologist for an ulcerated
bladder which has been an ongoing problem. This condition raises my chance of
bladder cancer by 25%; three of my uncles have passed away from this previously.
 
   Since I am on dialysis I don't make urine. It is taken out of me during the process.
But I started to pass blood and had some pelvic pain. After the holidays I am going
to the hospital for biopsies of my bladder. Hopefully nothing serious will show up.

Thursday: I was hospitalized. It was for an accidental over dose of my short acting
insulin. I take 40 units of long acting insulin that last 24 hours and usually 5 units of
short acting insulin after a meal. I had just finished breakfast and was trying to figure
out how many units I needed. I needed 4 units of the short acting insulin but by
accident took 40 units thinking of the long acting insulin.
 
   My husband Jim realized my mistake and I was quickly rushed to the hospital.
I drank pop and ate blueberry muffins on the way to counter act the insulin. The
insulin made me very loopy. Jim had to keep telling me to drink and eat.
 
   At the hospital they stabilized my blood sugar, did immediate dialysis, and the
rest of the day is hard to remember. During this time my sister Dawn had a baby
boy named Cooper. The birth happened quickly with some complications and
added to the stress.

Friday: I was still in the hospital. The stay went by in a blur. 

Saturday: I went to dialysis to try to get rid of a lot of toxins that have built up
over the week. After dialysis we were able to finish Christmas shopping.

Sunday: I worked on this blog post and watched the Packer game.

   Hopefully next week will be better. My son, Andrew, is coming home on
Monday and we are all very excited to see him. There is also a Christmas get
together that I am looking forward to.

The Caring Bridge

   My sister, Pat, who was working as a hospice social worker came
to stay with me when I was ill. She would stay during the night while
my husband Jim would stay during the day. My sister set up a site on
Caring Bridge and a family member would post daily about my
condition on the site. It was a good way to keep everyone informed
on how I was doing. People would write back to me almost daily.
Within four months I received over eight thousand messages that
were read to me everyday. I have kept every message that I ever
received from the Caring Bridge.

   I would like to thank the Caring Bridge for all that it did for me. With
the prayers and messages of support from the outside world it helped
me find peace. I didn't feel alienated or alone anymore. There was a
world outside of that hospital room that I found security in. Now I am
hoping when I receive my kidney transplant I will find the same amount
of support.

My Caring Bridge page can be found here.

Another Sleepless Night

   It is early Saturday morning and I am unable to sleep again. Usually if I
say the rosary it will put me to sleep. But right now my thoughts are
everywhere it is hard for me to think. Every time I try to say the rosary I
forget what part I am on and have to start over.

   Sometimes my dialysis makes me act spacey making it hard for me to
remember things. I missed a few dialysis treatments this week and then
had two treatments in a row . This is really hard on me, and messes  me
up.

   On one occasion the doctor asked me what the date was and I said July
fourth when it was January. I was quiet a few months off on the date.

   Hopefully next week I will be in more of a routine and the dialysis
treatments will go better!

Beginning to Blog

   I am going to start blogging! This will help me lay my thoughts out
for my second book which will be called Walk On, Julie! It will also
help me develop a diary of my thoughts and struggles since the end
of my last book (for all of you who were wondering).

Update on life today:
   As of today I am waiting for a kidney. This has been a harder
challenge then I have ever dreamed of. I have been in dialysis for two
years, and go three to four times a week. The treatments are hard on
me. Sometimes they help me and other times they make me sick. If
my blood is really toxic between treatments I become tired,
nauseated, and lose track of time. Blood infections have lead to
multiple hospitalizations.

Positive Thoughts:
   I am thankful for the people who continue to help me in my life, and
have stayed in touch. I am also thankful for my friends and family who
continue to be a positive influence.
   With God's presence in my life I continue to stay positive. He is my
hope no matter how gloomy things are, because if you don't have hope
you don't have anything.